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Relationship Recovery : Some Advice

April 15, 2011
By

I was in a relationship for a little over two years. We knew each other very well, in every way. I got used to her rhythm and movement. I knew what worked and what didn’t. We broke up a couple of months ago because of a little unresolvable problem, she cheated. Anyways, I’m ready to date and be intimate with someone again but I was so used to my ex-girlfriend and knowing how to please her. I realize every woman is different and my worry is, how do I “relearn” someone without bringing the ghost of my ex-girlfriend into bed with us?

Thank you,
Clean Slate With A Bit Of Chalk Dust

Oh Clean Slate,
First of all, I’m sorry your relationship didn’t work out. I think that, based on the tone of your note, you’re still a little sad. Before you enter into another relationship, for the sake of the new girl, exorcise the ghost. You can’t be ready for a new one if the old one is still more than lingering over you.

Once you are VERY sure, then it’s time.

It’s of my opinion and experience that discussing what works…works. Only if you’re comfortable with talking about it. I realize that many people aren’t and that’s OK. Then you have to feel your way, if you know what I mean.

Touching, kissing, feeling…listen to her sounds and/or feel her movements. Our bodies move to their own groove sometimes, especially when it’s enjoying the sensations. So even if there are no vocals, there’s some dancing going on. The beat will let you know.

You can, also, put to use what you’ve learned in your previous relationship. You’re new lady doesn’t have to know where you “learned to do that” from. A sly smile and raised brow is probably a perfect answer, then go back to what was making her say “mmmm…”.

Experiment. Find your groove. It’s exactly what you did when you began your last relationship too, you just might not remember.

Just don’t stress about it. Let it happen. And ENJOY. Because…the relearning? That’s actually part of the fun!

Good luck to you.

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