This is not going to a popular blog, or should I say the contents of this blog are not going to be popular. I have wrestled with the same feelings about organized religion that the famous writer Ann Rice has been wrestling with and now has made public.
I have an issue, and have for a very long time, with organized religion. I don’t like the way I have been treated, my family has been treated and strangers have been treated all in the name of the laws of the church. I was raised in the Catholic church and my disdain started when I was young and noticed that people who treated you badly were oh so kind to you on Sunday in church, at church functions and even in the church parking lot. I remember when the church started the tradition of the “Peace be with you” handshake. So many people would turn to their neighbor in the pews, side by side or front to back and shake hands and say “Peace be with you”. Now I know that it is just a gesture, and I know that some will say that the gesture is for the good of the service or that this gesture changes people. That may be true, but I did not see it. I saw people who were vial to each other during the week, forced to shake hands and say “Peace be with you”. This disturbed me as young child and I noticed that I was included in this when at other times I was ignored.
Many of you will remember the “envelopes” that were used to give donations to the church each Sunday. Some of you will also remember that those envelopes were sent to families by the church and the names of the families were printed on them. I remember that ours came to Mr. and Mrs. John Smith (name changed). I also remember that the church did not recognize my parents marriage because my father was not a Catholic and they did not get married in a Catholic church. I also remember that they gave my mother a very hard time about my brother and I making our Communion, Confirmation and attending Catechism. We were able to do all these things, but there were “issues”. I was told there were “issues’ about our Baptisms also; there no “issues” delivering those envelopes addressed to both of my parents.
I moved away from the Catholic Church finally as a young adult. I was about to get married and my fiance and I went to see the priest at the same church that I grew up attending. While I had many doubts, there was something instilled in me that I had to belong to the Catholic Church in order to be nearer to God. I’m sure it was the nuns who scared all of us half to death. Regardless as to why, when I was planning to get married we went to see the priest. He told us the different things we were going to have to do in order for him to marry us. The list was long and he was not friendly or encouraging to us at all. He insisted that we attend church each week as one of the many conditions. I was a bit annoyed by this time (not because I had to attend church) and I asked him how he would know if we were there every week or not. You guessed it. The envelopes…….
Needless to say I moved on from the Catholic Church. It left a bad impression for the last time. I’ve had the guilt trips (in my own mind, put there I’m sure by the nuns) that I left the church and didn’t raise my kids Catholic. Time marched on and I began to believe that I could believe in God, live in a Godly manner, and make Him happy without attending church. I considered joining a nondenominational church but it just never happened.
Years went by and that is where I still am today. I am realizing with the declaration by Ann Rice that there are so many of us that feel the same way. I don’t know if the answer is for us to continue our beliefs on our own, or if we should gather together and for a union of our own. I guess that would be considered a church and our issue would no longer be valid. I do know that if there were a church that just taught love, good works, and comradeship without judgment, I may change my mind and join it.
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Wow… I must say that this was well thought out blog and I respect you for having the courage to voice these concerns! I know so many people who feel just like you do. I was one of them! Finally I realized that people who are the most Godly Christians are the ones who aren’t religous. They are the ones who simply Love others, don’t judge others, but most of Love God. If you are truly trying to model God’s life with your own you won’t be awful to others during the week but and angel on Sunday! So I feel your pain but luckily I have found a Church and it is Non-Denominational church and this church is made up of the outcasts and the people didn’t good enough for other churches… A good movie that kind of makes me appreciate this more is “To Save A Life” and I think you should check it out! – Tay
I agree that it is a well thought out blog. Christian teaching is that God created us for relationship: with Him & with each other. I see the church as a community that has many wounded people. Hurting people will hurt other people. I am sad that another portion of those who attend regularly really do not know God at all – and it shows. Keep chasing after God and seeking relationship with Him. He will lead and guide you on the path that He has for your life.